How often have you felt stuck; effect of your situations, rather than a cause? Does it ever feel like you’re walking around in someone else’s shoes? Are you doing what makes you happy? Or are you constantly pleasing other people and settling for wearing masks rather than living in authenticity? I’ll answer: Yes, I do feel stuck sometimes, like I’m walking around in someone else’s shoes because I’m not always doing what makes me happy because I try to please everyone except myself which isn’t exactly living in authenticity. Wooo, at least now that I’ve admitted it, I don’t have to be in denial.
For most of my life I people pleased, especially in relationships. I set aside my dreams, my hopes, and even the things God asked me to do because the pain of hurting someone else’s feelings was greater than the pleasure of doing God’s will in my life. I talk about this briefly in my first blog post. This actually brought more pain than the perceptive pleasure I thought I’d receive by pleasing people. Those decisions caused me to live life through the eyes, opinions and experiences of others. I began to lose my own voice and totally forgot who I am.
Have you ever been there, looking in the mirror, saying hello to a face you see everyday but a soul you haven’t really connected with…at all? This is where I’m at and I’m probably having some of the most fun I’ve had my entire life – re-introducing myself to my self. I’m tired of walking in someone else’s shoes. Aren’t you?
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
God says we are his workmanship and He wants us to walk confidently in who He created us to be. You can’t walk around in the shoes your parents gave you because “that’s all they had.” You can’t walk around in the shoes your boyfriend or husband gave you because “they look great on you.” You can’t walk around in the shoes you hate that don’t fit right because “I can’t afford what’s best.” We can make excuses all day for why we do what we do but at the end of the day, we can’t excuse the truth:
“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2. God knows this isn’t the easiest thing for us fleshly beings to do, so He tells us to be patient (and I’m not the most patient person when it comes to projects).
But I’m my most important project! You are your most important project! That means, stop walking in their shoes, on their path, in their race and start finding YOUR own shoes and WEARING them out! Your style! Your fit! Who you want to wear them for, What you want them to look like, When you want to wear them, Where you want to wear them, Why you want to wear them, and How you want to wear them – on your head, at night, in the morning, during breakfast at the table…whatever, just because they make you smile. The Lord is best glorified when we pursue the beauty God’s planted in our souls.
Learn about yourself as much as you can. Right now I’m doing my dad’s success program “Getting From Here to There” which is a 16 week journey of self discovery and learning how to succeed in everything I do. Study yourself as you would you study your favorite subject. You should never feel insecure about anything; you have every right to change your mind, to do or not to do as you please, to be picky, to get exactly what you want!
Breathe. Take time to think. Take time for you. Make a list of everything you’re actually doing now and everything you want to be doing now and in the future. Will your current status and environment get you there? Simple answer, yes or no? There is no maybe. Your success and joy is pretty cut and dry – you get it if you go get it. Take control and responsibility for your actions. After all, you made the decision or lack of decisions, to create the environment around you – the people, the food, the lifestyle, the job, the school, the relationships… You want something changed, change it.
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33
We are changed by seeking first the kingdom of God and no one can do that for you. Others can’t fulfill your personal relationship with Christ, personal drive and success, joy within your own space, the ability to breathe peacefully without company, accomplishing something you envisioned, giving your all, having hobbies, doing things you love despite what other’s think is best for you because you’re confidently doing what God created You to do. Don’t have a closet full of shoes from everyone else. Have a closet full of your own.